Go from 4 door sedan to super cool minivan :: I don't know that I would call our minivan "super cool", and I don't know that I would say that we went from the sedan to the minivan, but we did, in fact, purchase a Dodge Grand Caravan. It's old and creaky, rusty, has lots of miles, and we really only use it when the three of us are traveling somewhere. Our initial plan was to trade in my Malibu, which looks something like this:
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| This isn't my actual car, but it is what I drive. |
We wanted to purchase a used minivan, and we thought we'd get a Chrysler Town and Country. After searching and searching, and realizing that we really, really, really wanted to have two vehicles instead of just the one, and then almost giving up because we couldn't find anything we could afford, we came across a minivan for sale that was posted to Facebook by one of our friends. Okay, okay, it was our pastor. And if you know us, that's just a little bit weird because we also rented his house for over a year. But it's weird in a good way, because we knew we could trust him and we knew that this was something we could afford. God provided for both families in that they really needed to get rid of that van and we really needed to purchase one! This is kind of what our van looks like, although I'd have to add a bit of rust - like, everywhere - but it's our rusty van. Ambrie loves it, it runs, and it provides lots of room. That's all we need right now!
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| This van is the same make, model, and color, but ours is not as sparkly clean and rust free. |
RUN :: So I ran a 5k. Well, I ran as much of a 5k that I could, meaning I walked a lot of it too. I participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure and due to some very generous folks, I raised $75. That may not sound like a lot, but I was truly touched that people would take the time and give of their limited funds. You don't see that kind of thing too much in this day in age.
The race was harder than I expected, and since I was running by myself I don't have any photos to share. I literally showed up, ran, grabbed a bagel, and left. I woke up sick the morning of the race and really did. not. want. to. run. But I made a commitment and so I dragged my butt to the start and across the finish line. I finished in 45 minutes, about 11 minutes faster than my first 5k, which I had mainly walked.
And now the question is, am I still running? During my time of training for the 5k, I got sick 3 times. I was waking up soooo early and really not eating like I should be for running. I need to regroup and get refocused. I need to make this about being healthy and treating my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. I need to make my journey to physical fitness very much about my journey as a Christian. I really need to lose weight, I really need to get the right amount of sleep, I really need to make my devotion time a priority. No, I'm not done running, but... well I guess that leads me to my next point, because I need to drop about 20 lbs. in order for it to happen.
WILL AMBRIE BE A BIG SISTER? :: That's one of the big questions of life right now and I really want to share what's going on with that whole idea because we've started to get questions and I know people are wondering. There are days when I think she won't be, there are days when I'm convinced she will be, and there are days when I give into the jumble of thoughts and emotions I keep pent up and I cry about this whole idea. Do I want to go through IVF again? No. Do we have the money to do it? No. Do we want another child? Yes. Do I want to be pregnant again? Yes. If we could get pregnant without the aid of doctors then we would likely already have another baby on the way. But it is very much more complicated than that for us.
Currently I'm working full time and supporting our family. Not only does this leave (what we feel is) not enough time for me to care for another child, it also means that financially we are not able to afford it; not on my income alone. And when I say "it", I mean both IVF and providing for another human being. But the thing of it is, we know that this can change quite easily. We saw how God provided for paying for IVF to get pregnant with Ambrie, and we saw how God provided for us all through my time off of work. He gave us a chance to live RENT FREE for a year so that we can now live (almost - we're so close!) DEBT FREE. We know that He will provide for us, so we're not letting the financial aspect impact our decisions too much. I truly believe if we seek this out, God will provide for us. Also, we know that our situation is temporary. I will not always been the financial provider. I am happy that I have a good enough job that I have been able to provide for our family financially and give Frank the chance to realize his dream of working freelance.
I do truly believe that we are meant to have more children. I also believe that it could look a lot differently than going back to the good doctors at The Fertility Clinic. Growing our family is wrapped up in a lot of other things - what happens with Frank's job is really a huge piece of that puzzle. So, dear friends, I am asking you to pray for us. Pray for wisdom and God's leading. Should we try to adopt again? We're certainly open to it, but we haven't felt strongly led in that direction. Pray that over the course of the next year we are able to find a house to live in and that Frank's career path becomes more clear to both of us. Pray for our families as they walk on this path with us. And pray for sweet Ambrie, who is just about two and has no idea how this could change her life.
The three things I wrote about are very different, yet oddly all connected somehow. If you've read this, then I thank you for taking time out of your day! Here's to a wonderful weekend full of fall colors and family time!
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